Hilarious quotes

SOME THOUGHTS TO PONDER ON AND LAUGH IT OUT


Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity - Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts workingthe moment you get up inthe morning and does not stop until you get into the office.. - Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it - Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?> -Jean Cocturan


It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper -JerrySeinfeld


It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose -Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant Death is peaceful.It's the transition that's troublesome.


Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.


Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving


Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.


Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.


Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.


Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia.

Einstien Quotes

1. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.


2. Only a life lived for others is a life worth while.



3. If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?



4. If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

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5. Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex ... it takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.



6. Never underestimate your own ignorance.



7. The tragedy of life is what dies in the hearts and souls of people while they live.



8. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.



9. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



10. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.



11. When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.



12. If my theory of relativity proves to be correct, Germany will claim me a German, and France will claim me a citizen of the world. However, if it proves wrong, France will say I'm a German, and Germany will say that I'm a jew.



13. Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.