Success and People Skills by Duttkumar Desai:

Everybody has dreams and wants to fulfill dream in one’s life span. But only few can live their dreams. Because, education and technical Skills are not enough for success in career, profession or business. A large component of your career success depends on other people. Many professionals and businesspersons are highly competent and well trained and dedicated in their works but still fail or failed to advance to their potential because they lack soft skills, skills of dealing with people. We are living in highly connected and cutthroat competitive global world. In addition to required academic, technical education and work experience, one needs soft skills like effective communication skills, interpersonal skills, and business etiquette and telephone skills to blend in today’s corporate world. All these skills including leadership skills, motivation skills, teamwork, public speaking, group discussion and even appropriate dressing are people centric skills.


Prof. Rooshikumar Pandya, master trainer in aspects of communication and behavioral
Sciences, who has trained over a hundred thousands employees of fortune 500 companies
In the US, Canada and India from shop-floor workers to top ranking CEOs says that “academic and technical qualifications are not enough and advocates holistic training approach and
Emphasis that people skills are most important skills of all skills.”


Success is built on other people. Its people to whom you listen and also listen to you and watch what you do. People are your doorway to success. So pass through those doors diplomatically. People are opportunity. They are new horizons. Then take this understanding and create a whole new life for yourself, a more successful life, based upon the ingredient in the formula for success called “ dealing with people.’’ You cannot succeed just by yourself. You have to be lifted to success by people who are willing to help you. People become successful only when he learns to deal with the people who make his/her success possible.

It is people whom respond to your suggestions and whose vanity and pride must be traded upon to achieve your desire. It is people, who must be persuaded, led, directed, cajoled, teased or pleased. It is people who must be “sold” on you, your products, your services, day after day. That is why to get success, to get what you want out of life, it is vital to know to deal with people and touch the buttons that motivates them. It is very important to understand the people so that you can deal with other people successfully. This art require insight in to the people. It is necessary to have genuine interest in other people.

Mr. Emmett C. Murphy author of national bookseller, New York, 1966 of the book “ Leadership IQ” writes: “ We gained a third important insight when we saw another consistent pattern in the behavior of work leaders: they know how to say the right thing to right people to get the right work done well, on time, and within budget. They reveal themselves by their deeds and thus provide role models for everyone with whom they interact. They have mastered art of conversation.


You should know that there is only one way to get anyone to do anything, yes, only one way, and that is by making the other person want to do it. The only way I can get you to do something is by giving you what you want. Why talk about what you want? You are always interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Apart from health, money and what money can buy, You must aim to satisfy following important needs of any human being to get him to do what you want them to do.


Feeling of importance:
There is one longing, almost as deep, almost as imperious, as the desire for food or sleep, which is seldom gratified. It's "the desire to be important." The rare individual who honestly satisfies their heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his hand. Give others your full attention by putting their feeling and their thoughts ahead of your own.

A successful leader is always ready to listen and have willingness to learn from everything and everyone. You must recognise the fact that these people can have the best information and these are the very people that you lead. You need to encourage people to speak their mind even if it is controversial. Allowing people to speak their mind doesn't mean that they will lose respect for your authority as a leader. Actually, quite the opposite will occur. People will begin to feel like they are a contributing factor and important person.

Appreciation:
One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation. In our interpersonal relationship, we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. Lets cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let's try to figure out the other person's good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

To be understood:
It lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own to understand the people. That is so simple, so obvious, that anyone ought to see the truth of it at a glance. Yet 90% of the people on this earth ignore it 90% of the time.
You must listen people with full attention. Keep your eyes and ears open and mouth closed. First listen with empathy to understand the people. It gives them psychological air and same impacts communication in every era of life. It is necessary to observe and listen to them without pre-conceived notions, judgements and prejudices.

It is necessary to recognise that everybody has strength and weakness. People need you because of their weakness and not the strength. We must learn to tolerate the other person’s weakness so that others also tolerate our weakness.
Everybody has his/her own uniqueness. You should not just bounce words around but respond to everyone’s uniqueness.

Be selective:
It is also important for you to decide and select people who are important for you, for your happiness and success of your dreams and goals. You set your own priority from the point of your personal life and professional goals. You need to determine who among them is positive and encouraging. Determine who among the list of people is negative. You have to limit your association with the person who repeatedly have a negative impact on you. Even if, for some reason you must interact with them for professional reasons, limit your time with them.

Know to deal with you.

You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be truly comfortable with others. Therefore success in this area would have to do with being happy with you. You should have full confidence and faith in self. You should take responsibility to deal with you so that you can get along and deal with others effectively.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, the ability to handle people is one of the most important skills. Getting along with people is key to personal development. The easiest way to think of this is as expanding spheres of influence. Each area leads to the next. others effectively. The better you are at handling people, dealing with people, the happier and successful you will be with your life.
(By Duttkumar Desai: Soft skill Trainer, Mentor and Founder Director of Parth Academy of Success. Editor of Enewsletter: “Success and Soft Skills “. desaiduttkumar@yahoo.com)